Poetry Thursday's prompt this week: Rivers.
It will be an interesting week for all of us with this subject.
Care to join us?
It will be an interesting week for all of us with this subject.
Care to join us?
River Songs
Smooth rocks shine
as sun charges
between branches,
dodging leaves
to bring glimmer
to the damp of the
fallen river tide
Birds sit low,
their voices
silenced by the
weighted sadness
he held onto
between his shoulders
in his heart
dragging behind his feet.
Nature waits impatiently
already primed for
love songs
chorused earlier
as a young couple danced
at the river's edge
Smooth rocks shine
as sun charges
between branches,
dodging leaves
to bring glimmer
to the damp of the
fallen river tide
Birds sit low
their voices
silenced by the weighted
sadness
he held onto
between his fingers
in his toes
falling from his face.
Nature waits patiently
now primed for
practiced silence
chorused earlier
as a woman sat
at the river's edge.
MeeAugraphie
05/30/07
Smooth rocks shine
as sun charges
between branches,
dodging leaves
to bring glimmer
to the damp of the
fallen river tide
Birds sit low,
their voices
silenced by the
weighted sadness
he held onto
between his shoulders
in his heart
dragging behind his feet.
Nature waits impatiently
already primed for
love songs
chorused earlier
as a young couple danced
at the river's edge
Smooth rocks shine
as sun charges
between branches,
dodging leaves
to bring glimmer
to the damp of the
fallen river tide
Birds sit low
their voices
silenced by the weighted
sadness
he held onto
between his fingers
in his toes
falling from his face.
Nature waits patiently
now primed for
practiced silence
chorused earlier
as a woman sat
at the river's edge.
MeeAugraphie
05/30/07
My words are not meant to be copied but to be read and dismissed or read and brought into your heart. . . that is your choice and your right.
11 comments:
loved the repetition and subtle changes in each verse. Ecellent job. Really enjoyed the phrase "practiced silence." Beautiful poem.
Hi Marcia.
Just stunning. The sun, the trees, the birds and the water remain, but the love has changed. Ebbed and flowed and hopefully grown.
Rose
xo
Yes it's me, at least for today. I love the "smooth rocks shine", it sets the tone for the entire poem.
Thanks for your support this month.
Loved this stanza and the repetition.
"Smooth rocks shine
as sun charges
between branches,
dodging leaves
to bring glimmer
to the damp of the
fallen river tide."
Like the repetion. It slowly changes the tenor of the poem.
Marcia,
The loss is palpable within these lines. ;-(
I like your new digs!
rel
Clockworkchris, Rose Dewey Knickers, Brian, Tammy, Gautami Tripathy, Remiman - thank you all for commenting. I was not sure the repetition would work as well as it did. Smooth rocks shine was my starting point, remembering photos my husband took last year at the river's edge with the sun shining on the damp stones.o (On a perfect day, not sad like this) Thanks Rel, for the comment on my new digs.
This is lovely, it flows beuaituflly and the repitition works really well. You've got some really good details in there like the sun 'dodging leaves' and his 'weighted sadness'.
Crafty Green Poet - Thank you for commenting. I surprise myself the few times I come up with those more poetic phrases, it isn't often!
the repetition and so many wonderful images - birds sit low, nature waits both patiently and impatiently, the sun charging between branches, dodging leaves - make this read like water flowing
Pauline - Thank you for commenting about the imagery, I usually get lost in the emotions and spend less time making images.
Post a Comment